lending something that we want back, The Mechanics of Virtue, Matt Berry, aphorism 85
85
We lend something instead of making a gift of it because we desire it in our possession ... but lending something that we want back really ought to go by name of “borrowing.” The desire itself inverts the transaction so that the other has lent us our dignity. Then of course he refuses to return the item. He had lent us our dignity, and now he wants it back....