Self-Engineering, The Mechanics of Virtue, Matt Berry, aphorism 166

166
Self-Engineering by Repetition:  It is my ambition to be more than the resolution of accidental stimuli, and yet my higher identity is dependent upon repetition and conditioning. Consequently, I cannot yield ... travel in that straight line determined by the leverage that my circumstance has over my machine. I must resist precisely my natural tendencies and hold to a goal independent of my cultural and evolutionary inheritance.  I am in a constant state of correction: testing stimuli against machinery ... ever vigilant; accepting, rejecting, precluding.  

Repetition of stimuli is my danger ... and my means.  I am, as it were, charging a cannon and must learn how to dodge ... that is, if I wish to arrive with all my limbs attached.  I have mechanisms for behavior of varied and often incompatible parts.  I cannot reason them away.  I cannot reconcile them to a single rational principle.  If integrity means whole or harmony or straightforward, then it arrives only after the introduction of an overpowering stimulus ... that is to say, only after I lose my head.

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