pride, a human strategy, aphorism 471

471 

“I am this and this … and even that too!” Deny this need to affirm oneself, deny that one makes oneself the priority over all other concerns and “this” will extend itself into an infinitely complex equation. Yet there is some alleviation here, the process of expanding and contracting the equation leaves one with the feeling of “progress.”

Imagine a human whose “stream of consciousness” thinks itself aware of its own reinforced drives ... imagine the human experience as a river with pride, which at every bend reproaches itself for obeying the law of gravity, the reason being, that this simple law shows the river to be too simplistic, a mere reaction. This pride opposes every natural force ... hiding the river “safely” within dark and insidious complexities. Such a river turns inward and tunnels through the mountain, taking such inner pride in its complexity that the “outer” is riddled through and can no longer bear its own weight. The mountain collapses. No longer full and proud as a mountain, but hollow and low as a crater.

Imagine the same river, again with pride, but with such pride that it refuses to pamper itself with the luxury of fear ... not so simple as smug obedience, nor merely complex ... nonetheless taking pride in simplicity — for the sake of life force. I value the inexorability in the universe, for I take pride in the mechanical increase of my force. Everywhere I see the forces of nature squandered and so divert and channel all lesser streams of tendency into one simplified effort ... swell high with pride because I have contained force. I delight too, in that moment of repair, when pride spills over.