A Human Strategy #538: one is real in inverse proportion to the imagination one requires.
538
His indulgence is leveraged by the proof of his inability to resist, being that last indulgence: a faint suspicion of weakness had risen into the air — an insecurity which only the strength of this newer, greater desire could wave away again. Weaker and weaker makes greater and greater.
He destroys himself in luxury, gluttony, and addictions, veering this way and that, triggered into crises by the ever smaller and smaller missing stimuli which exist beyond human capacity to supply. Fatigue categorizes his entire universe: he despairs at the total absence of everything beyond surfeit, which is everything imaginable.
Contented awareness of reality constitutes existence. One sees one’s own reality ... one is real in inverse proportion to the imagination one requires. But he is the half this side of deficiency. He feeds his suspicion of being nothing with the insufficiency of objects, compensated by his reinforced need to imagine them, and which constantly threaten to betray him to his own reality with the resulting fatigue. He is now in a constant struggle, not for his existence, but to replace it with the objects unavailable to his desire, and he suicides on imagination.